honesty.

"Patience, that blending of moral courage with physical timidity..."

  --  Thomas Hardy

Discipline of self is necessary for the development of any virtue, and patience is no exception. One's external actions begin with interior dispositions. One's path is crossed, darkness falls, giving way to resentment and anger. One must learn to remain unmoved and with tranquil countenance avoid all expression of annoyance, being slow to act and slow to anger.

Whenever I wish to move or speak,
First I shall examine my state of mind,
And firmly act in a suitable way.

Whenever my mind becomes attached or angry,
I shall not react, nor shall I speak;
I shall remain mum and unmoved like a tree.

  --  Shantideva

Exterior patience helps enormously to calm one's interior feelings. Peace will soon return if one but keeps a serene face and quiet demeanor. Exterior calmness opens the door to interior calmness.

"Nothing can be more useful to you than a determination not to be hurried."

  --  Henry David Thoreau

Shall one force one's patience and continue to turn the other cheek, even when being taken advantage of and trodden upon? Under what circumstances is anger appropriate? These are difficult questions.

Someone who will endure only so much as he pleases, and from whom he pleases, is not truly patient. A truly patient person accepts everything. He is not concerned if the person who afflicts him is a saint or a sinner. But whenever adversity comes his way, regardless, of what it is, who it comes from, and how frequently, the truly patient person accepts everything as coming from the hand of God.

  --  Thomas A Kempis

The repression of external signs of anger has no inherent value other than being a step towards acquiring interior virtue. When unkindness or injury is done to me, there arises a double feeling of pain and hurt. In this there is no real harm; however, arising with breakneck speed are darker feelings and thoughts. These must be expelled from my being if I am to continue along my path toward inner peace. I must meditate upon calmness and forgiveness, and I must pray for and engender loving kindness and compassion toward the offender:

The Persian poet Rumi writes about a priest who prays for thieves and muggers on the streets. Why is this? 'Because they have done me such generous favors. Every time I turn back toward the things they want I run into them. They beat me and leave me in the road, and I understand again, that what they want is not what I want.' Those that make you return, for whatever reason, to the spirit, be grateful to them. Worry about the others who give you delicious comfort that keeps you from prayer.

  --  Jack Kornfield quoting Rumi

Such wounds and offenses, troubles and trials are very useful for me. In time, I will be convinced of this. They are indispensable for the beating down of my pride, peeling away the layers of my ego, of self.

Painfully slow strides in the pursuit of patience are being made here. Someone close to me told me a few days ago (mid-August 2002 as I write this) that she detected a difference in my level of patience -- my acceptance of the circumstances of the moment, whatever they may be -- from only a few months ago.

patience defined.

1. The state or quality of being patient; the power of suffering with fortitude; uncomplaining endurance of evils or wrongs, as toil, pain, poverty, insult, oppression, calamity, etc.
   Strenthened with all might, . . . unto all patience and long-suffering. --Col. i. 11.
   I must have patience to endure the load. --Shak.
   Who hath learned lowliness From his Lord's cradle, patience from his cross. --Keble.
2. The act or power of calmly or contentedly waiting for something due or hoped for; forbearance.
   Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. --Matt. xviii. 29.
3. Constancy in labor or application; perseverance.
   He learned with patience, and with meekness taught. --Harte.
4. Sufferance; permission. [Obs.] --Hooker.
   They stay upon your patience. --Shak.

honesty links.

• Radic\al Honesty: "Radical Honesty is direct, honest communication that can lead to less stress in life and work, more intimacy in relationships and more power in creating the future you envision. At Radical Honesty we are building communities of intimate friends, who are creating a revolution in consciousness through direct, open and honest conversation..."
• Honesty Quotes: "Great quotes to inspire, empower and motivate you to live the life of your dreams and become the person you've always wanted to be!"

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